In 1802, Beethoven was acutely and depressingly aware of his failing hearing. As you will read in the link below, one of his doctors recommended that he go to one of the Vienna suburbs for the summer to get away from the noise of the city. They thought that perhaps that would be beneficial to his hearing. It proved not to be. In a period of great self-examination, Beethoven confessed to his brothers, and subsequently to the world, his despair. He admitted his thoughts of suicide but felt that he would be betraying his art to do so. That is why Beethoven is my hero. His dedication to music and what was in his mind was more important than personal comfort and escaping his agony.
Please carefully read the link below. I think you’ll find it very insightful of one of the great geniuses that the world has produced. I hope you also will be inspired by Beethoven’s great courage.